Comment by Aoife 24K on August 26, 2013 at 4:29pm

Sammi, what a very thoughtful discussion you have posted here. I also don't have any children. But, like you, I think that we can set good examples for others. Most of us into pinup/retro glamour grow into it. I think that it is something about discovering ones inner beauty and then finding ways to express it outwardly. Again for most of us, I think that being beautiful is something we develop. Of course some have the right genes. But it is more about tapping into that beauty wellspring. 

I am so sorry that you did not get the support from your mother that you would have liked. But luckily you have been able to overcome that. And maybe you are stronger because of that.

Now, my dear, I want to thank you publicly for saying such nice things about my recent pics and how I look. I truly count each compliment that I receive as a special blessing. Thank you for blessing me! 

Comment by Shy Anne on August 27, 2013 at 12:14am

I'm a huge fan of "you're perfect just the way you are" thinking. I think that like you my parents never instilled much in the way of self confidence or self love - in fact with my father being Pentacostal I was actually taught not to wear things like skinny jeans that "take advantage of your body' lol. 

I think the best thing to teach your kids is that you don't have to be a slut to be sexy, confident, and happy, but you don't have to walk around in a Burqa to be modest and the kind of girl every guy wants to marry. More you need a balance.

P.S. there is NOTHING wrong with wearing so many shades of black ^_^  

Great post!

Comment by Sammi on August 27, 2013 at 2:01am

You are very welcome Aoife :)

I agree Anne, you don't have to look a certain way to be happy (besides the way you want to look!), but everyone should have supportive parents who instil some amount of self-worth etc while growing up.  And yes - lots of black ;)

Comment by Sammi on August 28, 2013 at 9:00am

Jessica, you're so right!  I definitely feel like I've started out again over the past few months/years.

And yep, black goes with everything (especially "other shades" of black ;) )  The problem in my family is that my mother has her issues, and my dad never goes against her, nor does my sister - it's almost like it's my brother & I by ourselves in really knowing how things are

Comment by Ms. Natalie Ruth on August 28, 2013 at 6:02pm

It's pretty frustrating when our parents don't provide us with the support and reassurance that we need, but keep focusing on the positive, supportive people around you and continue to strengthen the support system that you've created for yourself. =) And post a picture of your outfit the next time you wear it! Sounds awesome! :D

Comment by Sammi on August 29, 2013 at 1:44am

Yes - I'll have to get OH on the job to take a photo!  Or find somewhere with enough space that I can use my camera to take my own :)

Comment by Desilu on August 30, 2013 at 5:20pm

I have to agree with Jessica completely - it's like you saw my relationship with my mother and put it in better words than I ever could have. It is exhausting. I've learned that I am the parent in this relationship, which is both frustrating and explains A LOT. All of the growing into myself has finally ocurred in my 30s (which is a very late bloomer, lol), but I don't think I would change it for the world. I know I look different from everyone else, and I get comments on it all the time - mainly compliments, which is reassuring as to me doing what's good for me. Now, it's finally second nature. I've learned long ago not to depend on the family structure for reassurance, positivity, or expressions/actions of love, but have found those instead in my close inner circle of friends, PUG Style, and most importantly, myself. As a mom, I (and my son's father) have continuously given him the installation that EVERYONE and EVERYTHING is beautiful in their/it's own right, and to look for the beauty in everything. For a 14yr old, he gets it, but it is hard for him as a teenager to remember it. Constant reassurance and he will grow up to recognize the beauty in the world that comes from within, not necessarily the outside (hopefully).

Comment by Sammi on August 31, 2013 at 2:50am

As a progressive reinforcement trainer Desilu you get a click and a jackpot from me for doing the right thing for your son :) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clicker_training - the other thing I 'geek' on)

I'm beginning to think that mothers of previous generations have [a serious pile of] issues that they pass on to their kids, and it's now up to us to get rid of them all, or at least begin to, so that "our kids" can live better, happier lives.  I make sure to always practise what I preach around my nephews and goddaughters/nieces.

Comment