I’m not a jealous person, usually. I feel like it’s at the top of the list of useless/harmful emotions. But sometimes I get jealous. Today I did. When I do, I feel the most important thing to do is ask myself *why*-
So today, I was on the intertubes and I ran across a blog run by a woman who paints, cooks, sews, etc. She documents her life. And as I was scrolling through her images, I felt it - this weird sinking feeling in my gut. Then I heard it - my inner voice, and it was saying “Fuck this bitch”. I am looking at all of these images of the beautiful work and I’m feeling BAD. And strangely angry at this woman for existing.
So I had to ask myself why. Why? She is beautiful, but not in a way I wish to be beautiful. She is beautiful but I don’t want to look like her. So that’s not it. So I kept going. She cooks, but so do I. I can’t tell if her creations taste good, but I know mine do. So what’s the problem?
"It’s perfect", my voice responded. And that was it. Her eye for beauty and attention to detail is exquisite. Her perfectionism makes me look like a slob. And I hated her for it.
And that’s it, isn’t it? That’s why jealousy is useless and harmful. It is because we are jealous of things and people that do what we love, only *better* than we may be doing it ourselves at this point in time.
And that’s 100% on *us*, not the person we are projecting our insecurities onto when we make them the object of our jealousy.
Jealousy is really a signal to ourselves: Get better. Step up your game. You can be that good, and the only person stopping you is yourself.