I’m not a jealous person, usually. I feel like it’s at the top of the list of useless/harmful emotions. But sometimes I get jealous. Today I did. When I do, I feel the most important thing to do is ask myself *why*-

So today, I was on the intertubes and I ran across a blog run by a woman who paints, cooks, sews, etc. She documents her life. And as I was scrolling through her images, I felt it - this weird sinking feeling in my gut. Then I heard it - my inner voice, and it was saying “Fuck this bitch”. I am looking at all of these images of the beautiful work and I’m feeling BAD. And strangely angry at this woman for existing.

So I had to ask myself why. Why? She is beautiful, but not in a way I wish to be beautiful. She is beautiful but I don’t want to look like her. So that’s not it. So I kept going. She cooks, but so do I. I can’t tell if her creations taste good, but I know mine do. So what’s the problem?

"It’s perfect", my voice responded. And that was it. Her eye for beauty and attention to detail is exquisite. Her perfectionism makes me look like a slob. And I hated her for it.

And that’s it, isn’t it? That’s why jealousy is useless and harmful. It is because we are jealous of things and people that do what we love, only *better* than we may be doing it ourselves at this point in time.

And that’s 100% on *us*, not the person we are projecting our insecurities onto when we make them the object of our jealousy.

Jealousy is really a signal to ourselves: Get better. Step up your game. You can be that good, and the only person stopping you is yourself.


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Comment by Mel on July 5, 2014 at 11:27am

Yes! It is completely self destructive. I never understood people who tear others down because of it. If I feel that, I always sit and ponder what I COULD do BETTER to get to that level. I let it inspire me and motivate me to to do and be better. Not hate myself and and tear someone else down for their own hard work. <3

Comment by Aoife 24K on July 7, 2014 at 6:27pm

Well, I have always found jealousy of any kind to be destructive. I firmly believe that when we are happy with who we are as humans, then we will be less likely to be jealous. I love what you say about getting better. That is one thing that we can do, and when we do... we've gotten better! And when we are better, we sometimes can even make those around us better. If not, we have improved. I, for one, will never be as beautiful as anyone else here. But I try to find my inner beauty and to make it shine.

Comment by Tahitia Belle Fille on July 11, 2014 at 8:07pm
Well said Laura, well said indeed. I confess that I too have been guilty of the jealousy more than I'd like to admit. We are only human after all, and it seems to be in our nature regrettably.

What's important is to turn a negative energy like jealousy into a positive energy like the desire to improve and to get better. That's a desire that you want to feed because it will only make you stronger and make you better.

Thank you for being honest and open as always :)


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