Ok Ladies, let's have it:

Where in the hell do I find a guy? I am divorced, and found my ex-husband at work (we worked in different depts at the hospital), so I am hesitant to date anyone from work, not that that's been a subject I've had to decide on lately. Does online dating work for anyone (my aunt met her bf on a bbw site, and now she's living with him, in spite of her own better judgement)? Should I look to date someone at work because I practically live there (especially with the holidays coming up)? I am not a social butterfly by any means - give me a pool table and a dive bar anytime vs a club. I have no idea how to actually approach a guy, and apparently guys find me intimidating (so I've been told numerous times over the years). I would at the very least like to start dating again, but have absolutely no idea how to go about it... So help, please!!!

Thanks ladies!

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I met my fiance' at the tattoo shop. My best friend the owner  of the shop and My tattoo artist set us up. I say go on blind dates, because he was the best blind date I ever went on.We have been together for over two years and  we are planning on getting married in march. I too was a divored and had been on lost of bad dates. when the right guys along you will know. I wasn't into the single seen either because being a single mom I didn't want that to come home to my kids. The only way you are going to meet someone is by putting yourself out there. Good luck you will find someone :)

I met my husband online on date hookup. I had tried two other sites and met lots of really neat guys and a couple of ....well you know. We were just married on 31 Aug.

My thoughts...just be yourself and have fun! 

I met my husband on plentyoffish.com It turns out we had lived blocks apart for years and never ran into each other. He sent me a message one Tuesday morning and five months later we were married. It has been the best three years of my life.

I met my fiance on Plenty of Fish in May-June 2010. I've done a lot of online dating- and much like dating without technology involved it requires work and patience. I was married before (2007-2009) and it was important to me that the person I dated didn't have children, didn't want children, had a job, had a place to live that wasn't with their parents, and that we had multiple interests in common. I have used OK Cupid, Lava Life, I even once tried E-Harmony (this was back in 2005 before I met my now ex husband) and Match.Com- I found that if the site is free or the site requires money they still will harbor a bunch of tools and creeps.

Because I had been married before and really wanted to make sure if I was dating someone the person had to meet me halfway in my wants/needs, and really I had no intention of settling ever again- that led to some really awkward dates (I have a treasure trove of online date horror stories) but in them all I was completely honest- I wasn't going to sleep with someone if I didn't like them, didn't find them attractive just because I was at this point pretty lonely (I live in a city with literally no family members and a very small amount of friends I've met since moving here).

when I had dates I made it a point of conversing with the person on a chat platform for a few days or a week prior to meeting them- i.e. on MSN, Skype, texting, IMing', E-mail. I'd drive myself to the location, I also if going to a bar didn't drink or would have 1 drink and wait until I was good to drive. I also always told my friends locally where I was going- who I was going with (I would show the profiles to my friends to get their opinions/advice) I always had my phone with me and if it was a shitty date where I felt I couldn't end it myself we had a text or call code.

when I met my Fiance everything clicked- we both had our profiles on Plenty of Fish- both had listed similar/identical interests and varying interests, both listed we were not wanting children, and had no children. We talked for over a week before meeting. He had been married before and separated/divorced within the same time frame that I had. It was a really good cliche feeling when I met him because it was really after that one date that I didn't date anyone else. we've now been engaged for just a year with our wedding happening in August 2013, our plan is once we're married and he is able to apply for a spousal green card we will move/immigrate back to the US.

I can't stress enough to be aware, not to settle, know what you want and to be yourself.

good luck!

Okcupid. I found my husband on there. okcupid is free and better than paid dating sites in my opinion, it's aslo fun

Sandy -

Congrats!! Thanks for the info on paid/unpaid sites... I was wondering if it made a difference in the quality of men on them. I think I'm going to look into PlentyofFish.com, although I am tempted to use eharmony or match because I know and understand the science behind them. Haven't decided yet...

I'll keep you ladies updated as things progress (although I will let you know, it will be slowly...)

;) Jenn

thanks.

actually it didn't I found a LOT of cross over- i.e. guys on Plenty of Fish, OK Cupid were also on Lava Life or Match. I wasn't impressed with E Harmony at all- I'm not religious, and I found that was pushed a lot- not to mention the guys *I* found on there weren't my type- they were all fairly straight laced and while within my peer group, did not have the same interests as me (music type, reading preferences, tv preferences etc). I don't doubt it's successful  I just found the pickin's to be slim. 

Match was a little different- Match had guys on there I felt I would click with, but once I met them it was just more or less an ehhhh situation. I did online dating from about 21-28 (I am now 30)

free or paid there will always be creeps and jerks.

I'm with everyone else on this. Online dating is the new trend. You get a quick snapshot of a person, a little background, and bam, you can see whether you'll be compatible. I met my last ex-bf on okcupid (its free, but hit or miss. I was on match, but for the money I paid, I never actually met anyone...lots of one-liners or guys that dropped off the face of the earth after 2-3 messages); before that I was in school, so I met guys in class.

If nothing else, online dating will let you dip your toe in the dating pool! Just go out and have fun; Mr. Right now could be right under your nose! And maybe, that now will drop away some day.

Also, this might just be me being old-fashioned, but I'm a big believer in the book "the rules". It talks all about letting guys approach you, etc. Worked pretty well in my relationships and quickly weeded out the ones that weren't worth my time.

Good luck!

I met my partner on plentyoffish.com.  I was so lucky to meet someone who was into the 50s stuff that I am. He already had a 55 Cadillac Coupe De Ville ( I was a Chevy girl, but crossed over). It was important to me that my prospective partner was into the cars, music and style of the 50s. I had tried dating 'out of the faith' but it never really worked. The 50s is my life and to try to compromise that and be 'modern' didn't work at all for me. Plus someone either loves it or doesn't and I was up for converting anyone or educating anyone to my likes and hobbies. 


Lucky for me he was already collecting 50s homewares and furniture and just looking for a girl who had the same interests. It was a match made in rockabilly heaven. Mind you, it hasn't always been smooth sailing but I'm so grateful (nearly) every day that I met him. We don't often tell people how we met because sadly there is a stigma to it. Because of our common interests we just say we met through friends or met 'through the scene'. Everyone seems to relate well to that.

Congratulations on finding him!

I can understand what you mean by the stigma... I think that's why I've been so hesitant to use it. But seeing how many girls here have replied with the same response, it's starting to really sound like something I should do.

Thanks Soozi!

Ok, Update time:

I did a spot on OKCupid... I will actually be having a conversation with a guy who lives a couple miles away and from the questions & profile info, seems well within what I like. Writing the profile was hard though, and I've blocked the ones who ask for more pics only (I only have one up there right now, it's the same one you ladies see next to my name; I even used doubleOjenn as my nom de plume). I was hoping for a little help from you gals: are there any pics I have posted here that you would think would be good pics to place on my OKC space? If so, let me know!!! I'll keep ya'll updated!!

xoxo Jenn

Had a great chat tonight with what seems like a great guy. He's not looking for a relationship, but I'm not there either, which is really nice and took the pressure off. I'm checking the q&a stuff compared to mine that they do, as well as their profiles... is there anything else I should be doing to be sure that I'm not making a mistake (or is this a place where I'm going to make mistakes, but got to get over them)?

Thanks for the help, girls... appreciate it!

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