Hello my fellow PUGsters,

I have been a member of this site for a couple months now but until now I have been to afraid and embarrassed to write anything. I look around this site and see tons of beautiful and confident women and I instantly lose my nerves to write anything. I just feel that I am not good enough to be on this site, that nobody really cares about what I have to say, and that I am not pretty enough to be doing this style. Every time I say something like that my boyfriend gets so upset with me and tells me that I am beautiful. That usually cheers me up and makes me feel a lot better.

Right now my boyfriend is in Michigan and I am in Ohio, which is causing my self esteem to almost completely die off. So I am asking you lovely ladies out there for any kind of tips or tricks that you use when you are feeling blue to help regain that confidence and self esteem.

I can tell that my boyfriend is noticing the dip in my self confidence and it is really upsetting him because he can not be here to help me feel better. So I am just asking for some advice to help rebuild it so he doesn't have to worry about me and the both of us can be happy again.

Also if you have any advice on long distance relationships I would be happy to hear about it.

Thank you for reading my rambling, and I hope that you don't find me too annoying. I truly appreciate your time and any advice you have for me. Keep on being lovely.

Thank you.

Views: 124

Comment by Shy Anne on January 30, 2014 at 12:30pm

Uhm... I just saw photos of you, you certainly qualify as a fabulously beautiful woman. You're unique, you're pretty, you have a sense of style, and you know who you are, that's more than a lot of women can say. 

I think that being in a long distance relationship should validate rather than hurt your self esteem

There is a man out there who:

  • Cares enough about you to maintain a relationship with you without any of the 'fringe benefits' 
  • Goes out of his way to notice you feeling bad 
  • Wishes he were there to make you feel better 
  • Gets Upset at you for not being confident in yourself

I have been in not one but two long distance relationships and while the first ended rather badly with him and my twin sister and it can be really tough. The best part is that after you wait it out you're going to appreciate each other even more. I think my best advice would be to Skype every free minute of the day. 

And in my experience the best way to 'validate yourself as a woman' as they say is to learn something, do something, achieve something. Whether that's taking a makeup class or getting a B.A. in Science is up to you, but it really helps. Surrounding yourself with people who make you happy help's too, but sometimes that's hard to do. 

Hope that helps, and really I think everyone on this site reads everything, we just don't comment/mention that we were there every time :), if we didn't care what other PUG ladies had to say then we wouldn't be here. 

Comment by Shy Anne on January 30, 2014 at 12:32pm

oops, accidentally deleted part of a sentence in there

, "I have been in not one but two long distance relationships and while the first ended rather badly with him and my twin sister after the 'distance' part,  I've been living with my current boyfriend for four going on five years after we had to be apart (in different countries) for a couple of 2 and 6 month periods, and it can be really tough. 

Comment by ahkara on January 30, 2014 at 8:20pm

Hello, my name is Ahkara. Your a vixen. No need to feel that way about yourself.I had no confidence in my self but that change once I realized I was focusing on all the negative rather than the positive. What help me turn my view around  was when I started to give myself a few reminders and not to kick myself over small situations. I know if you look good then you will feel good ( I usually put on something I ABSOLUTELY LOVE / my cheetah scarf  or perfume ) Also if you write out some inspirational quotes around the house, like your bathroom mirror/ closet/ vanity/ anywhere you know you will take the time to look at, will help you out. One of my favorite quote is from Marilyn Monroe, very popular quote, " if you cant handle me at my worst then, you dont deserve me at my best". You can find tons of quotes on line and they event have apps for it. Give it a shot and let me know how it goes.  

Comment by Aoife 24K on February 2, 2014 at 12:53pm

I met up with my PUG sister Jessica Montalvo last night. One of the things we discussed was how PUG and pinup in general is all about loving yourself, finding your inner beauty, manifesting it in your physical presentation and then celebrating it with the outer world. I guess that I have a special advantage because I have lived a few more decades than most of the pinup girls here. Therefor, I am confident with who I am and I have discovered my inner beauty over a long period of time. And trust me, I have some special challenges in being able to manifest outwardly how I feel inside. Love yourself Wednesday Munster. And as you have found here there are lots of people who will provide you with support, encouragement and love.

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