"Bernd and Marlene Bitzer are in love. For over 40 years. She is a sexy bitch with a lot of pride and class. He is an ambitious self-made man and crazy about fast cars. Without Marlene Bernd would never have achieved so far. How convenient, that they live in the same body…"
This could be a short story about me. But it was a rather long one. The story of my life... of my two lives.
Except two girls, noone knew about us two for about three decades. And if someone would have told me three years before, what was going to happen until now... :-)
But... slowly: you don't know me yet. I had a long time to get used to me. You should have a few minutes or so. At least. So let's start with my book (i wrote lots of them, for others, as a so called "ghostwriter". Noone knew this word, when i started to earn lil money with it).
Surely, I had planned my march behind the enemy lines with great intensity. The thing you do when you had once been trained as a journalist and inquiries are a part of your daily fast-food. Read books. Browsed the internet. Asked experts for information. “No idea what they are really doing …“ Don’t know, never really understood it.“ “Costs a fortune and last time I did not even notice it.“ Obviously a far from simple topic.
Well, let’s now allow the opposite side to speak:” My husband has no clue as to what I do for him…” or: “Men are simply not interested in such things.” Often enough: “My boyfriend will never really grasp what I think and need. Let alone understand.”
Is it really that bad?
Do men and women live in such different worlds that mutual understanding seems impossible? Could something crucial be changed if we had deeper insights into this unknown world? Well yes, maybe. But how can we discover unknown worlds? Quite true … just like Marco Polo, Columbus or Captain Kirk: Man on an expedition. Fearless. Brave. Inexorable.
Luckily, I had no clue what was going to happen to me...
t reads like something very dramatic. But it is and was like that, not more and not less. And you probably suspected it already: In case you read these lines – then my “girls game” has become reality. And also the woman that I have felt inside of me since I was six years old. Who was already at that time an integral and conscious part of me, who I have always been. At least to a large degree. And this is why this here is not a “real epilogue”.
Because the worse is still to come.
Because I am today also … Marlene.
I lied to you for a little while. To myself a little longer: for about 30 years. My voyage of discovery into the unknown lands of women began actually much earlier than this book. Much, much earlier.
I can precisely remember the scene in the - at the time small - paint shop of my parents. And the customer who dreamily ran his hands through the long, soft hair of the small blond fuzzy head, and who mumbled the following far-reaching Swabian compliment to my parents:
“What a beautiful little girl!”
Of course it was just me who had heard it.
And his words really stuck.
Still today, I feel the sudden whiff of embarrassment, the wordless-overpowered objection of a six-year-old who is about to say with his suddenly red little cheeks:“Yes, but I’m not a girl!”. And can right in the middle not form a word anymore. Because – again very deep inside – a sofar unposed, mighty question has arisen. “Maybe I am?”
So this was a short glimpse into my new book. Enjoy! Or even better…
buy it as an eBook on www.amazon.com
Love you, Jenni! And… hope to meet you someday :-) Greetings by Marlene, www.girlsgame.tv
Ahhh, small addition to the "Kurzversion"-Attachment:
This wonderful song was sung and produced especially for me by a very talented young girl named Polly.
You will find lots of great songs on her website http://www.pollymusic.de/
That's, what friends are for! :-)